As someone who is addicted to Ubers, wearing high heels and sleeping in real beds, it did come as somewhat of a surprise to me and those that know me that last week I climbed Africa’s tallest mountain.

My level of preparation to make it to this summit really stretched to cutting my hair short, trimming my toe nails and downloading some podcasts (desert islands discs and Goop being firm favourites).

I’d really like to put the blame for this expedition at my husbands door. Thats what spouses are there for right!? Simon could well be the love child of Bear Grylls and Captain Cook. It would actually be fairly easy to pass the idea off as his ‘bonkers idea’. I could have said I was simply following his hair brained ideas like the dutiful wife I am. However that’s not actually how this went down.

Every year I write a letter to myself that details the how I’d like to spend the year, at work and at home. It’s called vision writing and it’s a tool that I was taught at Facebook. Initially, my English cynicism saw me resist this exercise, but now it has come to be an annual tradition. A moment when I can put together a bit of a map for the year. Ofcourse it always goes of way off grid, but it’s good to at least pretend there’s an element of control in this crazy thing we call life.

So in June this year, I wrote my annual vision. It focused mainly on an intense re-entry to work (after 14 months out), some further study, starting an exercise regime, being far more balanced, helping Simon with his business, being home for Jetts bed time, taking Nancy to school each day, drinking more water, eating more fruit, taking my vitamins ….. In short it was very very sensible, and those that know me will know I’m not the most sensible cat in the Serengeti. I read it and thought how will I feel if I achieve all of this? My really honest answer to myself was that it was missing a really meaty challenge. So that’s when I decided I needed some Kilimanjaro in my life. After too many wines that Friday evening, I shared this idea with Simon. My wanderlust and action hero husband responded with ‘yes and book it now please’. I remember waking up the next day with a sore head, empty back account and a heart full of gripping fear for what lay ahead. Terrified of a trip I had so passionately petitioned for just 24 hours before,

The fear manifested itself in many forms over the next few months. I tried cancel the expedition on at least 4 different occasions, citing too much time away from our children (they would miss us), it was too early for me to take time off work (I’d get sacked) and the expense of the trip (we would be bankrupt). At one point I also decided it was ‘irresponsible for a parent to risk their life in this way’ (we would die). Ultimately all of these barriers were really based on fear.

Despite me wanting to run for the hills instead of up a mountain, on the 6th October we did make it to the roof of Africa. And here’s the weird but honest part. Whilst my muscles hurt, and I was tired and I couldn’t breathe that well….it actually wasn’t half as hard as I imagined or nearly as hard as other things I’ve experienced in my life. I might have even enjoyed it.

As we slogged it up the mountain I had a lot of time to think. Like real time, without the nappies and the deadlines and the email and the…everything…

I’m sharing a few of the ideas that popped up incase any are useful for others who are living in fear of climbing their own personal mountain.

1. Setting your GPS towards the fear I’ve spent quite a lot of my life avoiding discomfort and using fear as a detector of where not to go in life. It occurred to me as I was trudging along…and even quite enjoying it, that I probably need to channel more things that had a high level of emotional and physical fear around them. Maybe seeking goals that’s scare the bejesus out of you in a healthy guideline for the route to follow. My daughter, Nancy 7, is a brave girl who faces her fears on the field, in the water and in the school yard. I respect this quality in her greatly so I decided to take a leaf out of her book and show her even when you are a boring grown up you can still set your gps to fear.
2. Pole pole, slowly slowly As we set off on day 1 our guide, Ola, set a very slow pace. Every time we went back to a more normal speed he cautioned us with ‘pole pole’ which means slowly slowly in Swahili. The route we took was called the Machame route, and has a 60% chance of completion due to its short 6 day course. Generally it’s not simply fitness but altitude sickness that stops people reaching the summit. On the summit day, we passed a number of very athletic looking guys and girls who had simply gone too fast and not allowed they bodies time to acclimatise. They didn’t have enough in the bank to deal with the last 17 hour push that was accompanied with snow and -15 conditions. It’s the classic tortoise and hare story. I race around every day like Usain Bolt. When I don’t achieve my daily tasks I think ‘gosh i wish I’d been faster’. This trip made me think the opposite – if I was slower, and more considered what more would I be able to achieve. The data back up this theory, our guide Ola has an impressive 97% success rate for his teams to get to the top compared to the average 60%.

1. What’s your mountain? The truth is that we all climbing mountains every single day. For some it’s dealing with depression, or a break up, or sick kids, or no kids, or unrealised dreams. It’s quite easy for your community to get behind physically challenges as they are tangible. I felt so much love and support (oh and Mickey taking) as I prepared for my climb. It’s also quite easy to look after yourself on the mountain as you there’s a rule book on how to stay healthy. This mountain code includes drinking water, eating 3 meals s day, taking the altitude tablets, wearing in your boots etc. For mountains that we are climbing that are less visible i wonder if we all give and receive the same level of cheerleading? And what’s our code to protect ourselves from our daily life challenges? Do we look after ourselves in the same way with the same dedication to self care to achieve our goals?
2. Don’t think too much about the summit just put one foot in front of another My goal post of success was reaching base camp. That’s what I told everyone who very worryingly enquired about my preparation and that’s what I meant. I never had genuine designs on an unfit bear like me reaching the top. When I got to base camp then I made the decision to push forwards for the summit. It seemed more possible at this point. I’ve heard it said that you should reach for the stars, if you fail you’ll land on the moon. In this instance this wouldn’t have worked for me. I needed an obtainable goal to just put one foot in front of another. Sometimes big scary goals often have the opposite effect. Hair goals can sometimes turn us all into rabbit startled by the headlights. I’ve learned from this experience to just get started, put one foot in front another and get moving. As my good friend Liz Anderson once said to me ‘Don’t worry about how to eat the whole elephant, just have a little nibble his toe nails’.
3. Have you got the right support team? So whilst we did have to walk up the mountain ourselves, I’ll be honest walking was pretty much all Simon and I had to do. We had 18 porters who were responsible for setting up our tent, taking our daily oxygen levels, providing us 3 amazing meals each day, carrying the porta loo and generally keeping us alive. I read somewhere that a habit of successful people is to work out what they need to do each day, and then list all the people in their lives who were able to help them. We all know that having an amazing team around you at home and at work is critical but on the mountain it became the difference between life and death. At one point Simon almost stepped off a ledge to make way for oncoming groups. If one of the guides, Moses, hadn’t of stopped him he would have been toast down a 5,000 meter drop. Our support crew in the mountain were the number 1 reason we reached the summit. Having a good support network is critical to us humans thriving. We all have a board of directors to help advise us and a squad of people who help us be the best versions of ourselves. I wondered on the trip if I truly understand all the mountains my community is facing and whether I’ve thought properly about what my role could be in helping them achieve their dreams is. I also thought a lot about my support team who made this trip possible, specifically Simon’s wonderful parents who moved into our house to look after Jett with our amazing nanny Jacylnn. After just 3 months back in my role I had also left my job to complete this mission. I call my work mates the A team as they are simply the best humans I’ve ever worked with. On this bloody long walk I wondered if I had properly thanked everyone at my base camp, who were holding down the fort.
4. Know when to leave the party in style Knowing the right spot to leave jobs, friendships, relationships and parties has never been my strong spot. This time I completely nailed the exit! Once you summit Mount Kilimanjaro you then slog it down to the next camp for one more night. This was a 15 hour walk. The night before I hadn’t slept (I was scared our tent would go over the mountain in the storm) so I had been awake for now 40 hours, walking for 15. On the last day Simon had very low oxygen levels, I had pretty banged up knees after a fall and quite frankly we smelled really bad. With just a mere 4 hour walk down hill ahead of us I joked to Simon that it was time for the helicopter. 30 minutes later a helicopter landed and took us to our hotel. At that moment my husband was James Bond, and my knees went weak (they must have been buggered from the walk down). I’m sure some might say we wagged the last part of school but I really don’t mind, at the end of the day we each have to own our own goals they are the only we should give a dam about. For me, the helicopter arriving was the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me. Remember the scene in pretty woman when Richard Gere picked up Julia Roberts in his limo. That was how I felt at this moment. Saved. It was also a real reminder that fear is just fuel for the journey and actually the most important direction for all of our GPS’s is to tune into is love. So my 7th lesson was to spend time with the people you love most in the world. You can’t go far wrong with that one.